the magic christian suite; the magic christian/viking/glee club/bathing dresses - floppy ways - like a whisper the magnificent octopus; drowning in sulphur/all the old generations have gone/octopus - god's eye trogs old bogs - in the silent room - winter wades across to me

THE MAGIC CHRISTIAN

Well they’re lovelier than buttered toast
And they’re damper than blotting paper, used or no
Used or no, GO!
Do let’s call round; it’s about time for a ritual viewing
I hope your membership it won’t need renewing
No Sir, Ritual sir
It could be something, something to share with your dad
Something you can share with your dad
Let’s see those teeth, its beyond belief John, John
But we thought it the amount were large enough, John
As large as this
It’s not the sort of thing that these men will do
Don’t you know, that Cambridge men can not be bribed
I don’t like the Dutch painters. Not contrived
I don’t like the Dutch painters
Run for your lives, don’t like em
I’ve been fired before but never in Afghanistan
Auchengillan Auchengillan
Who let the lads out, who let the lads?
Have you any another I could see
What’s he doing, he looks like a bleeding nutcase to me
Try it Ginge, here come the lads now here come the lads
Shall we say thirty? Shall we say ten?
There that’s a splendid nose you can burn the rest
Stinker, stinker, stinks

Evening sir, last act’s just started
Rosencrantz and Gilderdenstern have just gorn orf somewhere
These are my two sisters Agnes and Esther
I’d like you to meet my new son and proge
Youngman Grand S
And all reports suggest that the dog went absolutely berserk
And is reported to have been eating a number
Of it’s fellow competitors
But I don’t want to rely completely on dogs
I don’t mind missing a few pheasant
As long I occasionally get a quick kill
That’s it Lionel, that’s the name of the game
At Crufts, at Crufts, at Crufts, at Crufts

I will catch that boat
Waiting on the quayside for you
Don’t leave a note
Hardly Burkes hardly Burkes hardly Burkes I know you
Deborah and Michael Derringer don’t you
Awfully nice people but hardly Burkes
Funny thing that could happen at Crufts
Rely on Captain Kraus
And what exactly is our work dad (she’s a marvellous ship sir)
An excellent ship sir (And what exactly is our work dad)
Is that good enough for you?
Another tipple for the voyage
I can highly recommend this Beaujolais
Very good, very good indeed

VIKING

Stacking chairs by the bookcase, storing shelves in the street
Making an offering to the sound of beating feet
And where are the brothers, where are they now
Stacking shelves in the supermarket, now
Oh and where are the sisters, as you walk down the street
They’re crossing the cables, and they’re looking at your feet
Cos women notice things like that, as they’re looking at you
Cos there’s crimson on the faces, and they’re wondering what to do
What to do?
On the hill there’s a Viking, slinging his self to the floor
Don’t look at him shaking he don’t need anymore
Cos he’ll be doing this for rest of his days, things are never that grim
And he’s cycling down to the chemist, looking for somewhere
To post that secret ashore
Post that secret ashore
Oh that secret ashore
Secret ashore

GLEE CLUB

More sausages my lord, well it’s tempting
I like a nice sausage you’re forced to
It’s a bit of a wrench
Well it is a bit of a wrench actually
Sausages, in a bunch

I am your Glee Club, you are the master
I am the corns on your ever after
Bring me anything you want me to do
And I’ll look after you
You see that thatcher waiting well he’s just like you
You see what he do
Sticky business eh?
Oh no not more books, oh!
We are the Glee Club, we are the Glee
(Locate the eyelet)
Brothers and sisters and ever so clean are we
It’s quite a responsibility to be taking the brunt of this
Let me explain the situation with a kiss. XXXX
Irritating isn’t it when people get to you
You see what they do when they spoil it all with their homecoming
We are the Glee Club, we are the Glee
We are the Glee Club, let it be me and you’ll dream
Well I’d like to help you but I’m afraid I’m just not going to,
ha ha ha ha ha!!
Do I croon for you, do I croon for you
I could go a nice Peek Frean and take a trip to Timothy Whites
And still be back for tea time
In a bowl of cherries
That you remember to have buried
Cross that fence again, (Cross that fence again)
The back of your shirt is loose (The back of your shirt is loose)
As today you have been chosen as the vehicle of choice
by our mystery guest
Empty the bin and throw em all in, (but I didn’t ask for anything)

In our world there are no disasters, there are no easy answers
And lots and lots of ever afters
Love you, love you

BATHING DRESSES

Early summer, wait forever, garlands all around you
Your bathing dresses wetter
For all your common ground

Early summer
Saved forever
Come to the crossing bring all of your friends
Towards the future
Towards the future
For nothing’s greater than the sum of itself
And welcome to you

Early summer, saved forever
Garlands all around you
All our offerings now
Are greater than the question
That your father gave to you
I’ve given you all the answers
I’ve given you the best of me
Dresses in the morning
And the little ones are calling
My son
My little son

Look Archie, the stars are bright tonight
Daddy loves you sweetheart
Daddy loves you

FLOPPY WAYS

Floppy ways are falling
Floppy ways they come to you
Innocent pastures
More gracious than the masters
Floppy ways that catch a fellow falling down
Fainting now
Banisters bawling
Find a face and it’s so hard to say it

Floppy ways a greeting card
Floppy ways are beating hard
Fascinating events arriving at your door
And heaven knows the reason what it’s for

The moon is looking higher above your love for me
The sun is shining on the gravestones
Sneaking out to be with me
And filling me with glee

Floppy ways are counting cards
Just like your heart is beating hard
Running wild across the fields
Questioning the hurt of there
Is sleeping
Is slepping now

My home is on the range
And all around is strange
Stranger than the floppy ways
Oh! The floppy ways
Dancing through the haze
Floppy ways

LIKE A WHISPER

You’re welcome with your wisdom
and the grace you bring
To my life, like a whisper
Don’t say that these wings you see
are only visions with a tear
As you sow the morning glories

These crafts they are today
Are truly yours to give
So familiar now to see
For these eyes that set you there
Like a southern shower
Are as bright as the stars that I see
Oh I sit by a woman so near
And you wave at the window
Like a friend
Come love and speak to me
Come love and speak to me
Come love and speak to me
Come love and speak to me

So you’re welcome with your wisdom
And the grace you bring
To our lives, like a whisper

12th February 2008

WINTER WADES ACROSS TO ME

Winter wades across to me
Spinning tales across the tides
And there’s frost between my fingers
And on the hillside lies the lamb

The train you drew, when I was only two
And all the hosts of angels sang
I brought it to you
There’s nothing I could do
To let your memory fade
I still have the picture
Old, now I am old

Let the spring, reach out to you
Through the kindnesses of strangers
Oh we’re welcome
It’s golden
How I remember
Remember

Let smiling shores be blessed for you
Let the seasons be your reason
Let your child reach out to you
This Christmas
Across the water

OCTOPUS PART ONE
DROWNING IN SULPHOR

Lord, what’s happening here,
I’m drowning in sulphur
Funny smells waiting now
What’s in this beer, something queer you?
Oh, there’s plenty of bacon, plenty of hake
Don’t make that same mistake will you
Be still in the cold, be still in the silence
Be still, be summoned by the wave
Oh, laugh it over
It’s now, it’s now
Let yourself be broken on the barricades
I’ve been waiting such a long time for this
Don’t crease the sand, don’t break the sound
And let it all go now
Let’s go relax in majestic surroundings
Let’s take a towel

Oh, Clemency darling, it’s a feather in your cap
Don’t let it fall off your lap
Though it’s a vicious circle don’t give it away
Don’t let that chap slap you
Break the bonds with it all
No matter how much that story grows tall
It’s an open garden today
It’s an open garden today, hey hey
Don’t look at the flowers
You look at them for hours
And watch that lightning striking
And Sylvia’s hiking
Across the wave to break for the town
All the peasants are leaving
To pleasant places
And mother’s grooving, all these thirty years

Old generation nag nag nag
Young generation want want want
Our generation love love love
Our generation love love love
Bank generation debt6 debt debt
Pig generation
Old generation want want want
Young generation want want want
Old generation nag nag nag
Dog generation woof woof woof
Archie generation Archie
Archie bubble Archie Archie
Archie generation love love love
Archie generation dance dance dance
Our generation love love

ALL THE OLD GENERATIONS HAVE GONE

All the old generations have gone
Suddenly I’m representing everyone
Just how much can I take
I’m breaking now
For something you’ll comprehend
And I love you, I love you

Sat here at the table in town
No use in contemplating being up there with you like a clown
Taking this time, to be feeble enough
What you are is not enough
And you’ll groan, oh no
It’s the telephone again

I sense the flow is not so fast
But the sun still shines on me
And I’m waiting here, at the station
With my son upon my knee
And he’s struggling so, wriggling so, again

Realisation everyone has gone
I see the gravestones marching on and on
So little time we are here
I’m waking up
Who you are seems to be not enough
And my loving cup is full now

All the old Arbuthnots have gone
All the Erics, Edgars and Algernons
All those old fashioned names, and party games
Like throwing spaniels out of first floor windows
To see if they fly

So let me kiss your golden hair
As you piddle on my lap unawares
You are the light that shines through me
Ancestral faces that I see

OCTOPUS PART TWO

Negative, negative
Glass half empty
Glass half full

Your satin dress is tired of you
Your golden tresses out of view
Take this time to be awake
As you’re falling out of view
Falling out of view

Your silver cup is broken now
It’s hiding in the queue
Let it crash as fragments fade
And paint your pigeons blue

How blue do you want them my lord
Very very blue

GOD’S EYE

Well it looks like we’re out of miracles, and the soldiers have been stranded
And one or two are broken, cos they believed in what was spoken
Where the telegraphs are taller and the womenfolk look smaller
After all that they have given, it seems like a waste to me

And I’ve got news for little Tommy’s people
As I’m marching home alone with medals of my own

Where the garlands in the springtime, are recalling natures lifeline
And the boats where we went sailing, when we take a little time
Well the shifting sands have spoken, well they’ve left behind a token
As we walk along that sandy bay, it seems like only yesterday
And I’ve been counting on this being neverending,
As I cherish all these waves, and thankyou for the days
These days that we are equals under God’s eye, on gods eye

It’s such a simple sacrifice, though for some it isn’t nice
As we crave another certainty, in the wilderness of destiny
So let your just be engaged, as leaves and flowers do on natures page
And it’s given all its charms to you, and left behind a smile or two
Under God’s eye, under God’s eye

Well it’s hard to know which way to go, when your home is hidden in the snow
And your head’s too high for halos, when the difference is the distance
And your dancing with that dusty chair, you could have been anywhere
And there’s no cause you wouldn’t follow, if it meant there’s no tomorrow
Get him down from that chandelier, you know he’s only acting
It’s like he’s never been away, like he’s never been away
And hold that man down, he’s gonna do his self some harm
Cos he’s been over there campaigning for you

Well you know he would be willing, to fight anyone for a shilling
Deluding you with grandeur, with that immortal golden candour
So lets’s go over the border, bring those old boys to order
And sing those sweet songs to each other,
and remember the days when we were brothers

TROGS OLD BOGS

Now all you silly people and clever ones as well
Don’t go down to the woods if you sniff a funny smell
Cos the villages are empty, and no sign of buckie and wag
Cos they’ve all gone down to the bogs tonight
With a wink and a laugh and a fag
And things have gone missing from the larder
And the little ones are picking up tricks
Cos something’s wriggling in that bin-bag
And bags and the lads don’t mix
So don’t let them tell you stories
Saying they’ve been gathering logs, cos
They’ve been fiddling diddlin and a piddlin
Down in trogs old bogs

By an English stream
The hedges look so clean, today
As I go walking far as I go down
Oh love, that sent me from this place
Oh holding on, holding on for hours
Among the flowers

Now granny, she had a terrier
How she loved it night and day
Yap yap waggy, it always wanted to play
But something’s growing in the greenhouse
That wasn’t there yesterday
But there’s no sign of the terrier, villagers are searching high and low, oh
But they don’t go down to trogs old bogs, there’s something they don’t know
They don’t know

Sitting by the stagnant water, ferreting around at your feet
Thinking of the springtime long ago drinking in the fading sun and sleet
Spotted by the nosy neighbours, acting in peculiar ways
Trog has gone to the distant places
What did he see at the end of the world?
Oh! A lot of old moons, Charlie Chaplin’s tears
And a wall of ice blue water and there’s more to tell
More to tell. More to tell

And swallowing pussy muck down
Tie em up quickly, never too tight
Don’t let em make a sound those tiny little ones

Now all you silly people and clever ones as well
Don’t go down to the woods if you sniff a funny smell
Cos the villages are empty, and no sign of buckie and wag
Cos they’ve all gone down to the bogs tonight
With a wink and a laugh and a fag
So don’t let them tell you stories
Saying they’ve been gathering logs, cos
They’ve been fiddling diddlin and a piddlin
Down in trogs old bogs

By an English stream
The hedges look so clean, today
As I go walking far, as I go down
Oh love, that sent me from this place
Oh on and on for hours
Among the flowers

IN THE SILENT ROOM

Oh mr confidence, let me take your hand
Have a little faith in me as i try and understand,
Oh the world’s so full of promises, and you say it doesn’t matter
Cos you paint a different picture and you hear a different sound

you’re the last of the legions, who came from the outer regions
filling all the stadiums and emptying the bars
well you gave your gifts in the giving leaving crumbs upon the table
where the needy have been feasting and left what they were able to leave

well your filling up with freedom all the corners of the pages
writing songs about the memories and the angels of the ages
and those on the peripheries don’t understand the mysteries at all
such as they are

well you’ve broken with reality of which you speak so readily
and I’m ready to go quietly, to the world of speaking softly
so fetch my little memories from the bookcase by the window
and don’t forget my bear for I may need him as I go

and it all looked so promising, when collected from the nursery
all the smiling happy faces and there’s gifts were never cursory
but there never was a brother and even less a sister
and it seems like nothing would be too much for you

Oh mr confidence, let me take your hand
Have a little faith in me as i try and understand,
Oh the world’s so full of promises, and you say it doesn’t matter
Cos you paint a different picture and you hear a different sound

Eb Eb Ab Eb Ab Eb Bb Cm
Eb Eb Ab Eb Ab Eb Bb
Cm Bb Ab Ab Gm Cm Gm Gm

Eb Eb Ab Eb Ab Eb Bb Cm Cm
Eb Eb Ab Eb Ab Eb Bb
Cm Bb Ab Ab Gm Cm Gm Gm
Cm Gm Ab Ab Gm Cm Gm Gm

Eb Eb Ab Eb Ab Eb Bb Cm Cm
Eb Eb Ab Eb Ab Eb Bb Cm Gm
Cm Gm Cm B

Eb Eb Ab Eb Ab Eb Bb Cm
Eb Eb Ab Eb Ab Eb Bb
Cm Bb Ab Ab Gm
Cm Bb Ab Ab Gm
Cm Bb Ab Ab Ab Bb Eb Eb

Eb Eb Ab Eb Ab Eb Bb Cm Cm
Eb Eb Ab Eb Ab Eb Bb Bb
Eb Ab Eb Ab Eb Ab Eb